Last Monday, President Bola Tinubu arrived in Abuja after his two-day official visit to the State of Qatar. That evening, I watched footage of the President descending from NAF 001 as officials lined up to receive him from his 12th foreign expedition, marking a total of 75 days abroad.
He seemed calm and excited at the same time amid tons of expectations weighing on his shoulders. With nine months in office already, Nigerians expect that the ups and downs of the national pregnancy will have subsided by now and the nation will experience new birth.
However, countries gestate differently from human beings. The headaches would differ in intensity. Mood swings would kick in as economic variables—such as foreign exchange rates—fluctuate. And cravings or aversion to certain foods would run wild.
Days earlier, some residents of Abuja looted a warehouse belonging to the Federal Capital Territory Department of Agriculture, carting away foodstuffs and other items. With the food inflation biting hard, mobs intercepted truckloads of food supplies being transported across states.
Still, attempts to smuggle scarce food items out of the country have intensified. The Federal Government said it has intercepted at least 141 trucks trying to rustle grains and other staples to Niger Republic, Chad, Cameroon and the Central African Republic since the President declared war on food smugglers. Something tells me these were the unlucky few out of many.
While meeting state governors at the Presidential Villa in mid-February, Tinubu said, “We must ensure that speculators, hoarders, and rent seekers are not allowed to sabotage our efforts to ensure the wide availability of food to all Nigerians.
“What I will not do is to set a price control board. I will not also approve the importation of food… because importation will allow rent seekers to perpetrate fraud and mismanagement at our collective expense.”
At another forum, he said, “I agree, smugglers will fight back, corruption will fight back…We will fight them to ruins. (We will) save the money…to educate our children…pay for the modern transportation system that works for the highest number of people, not those few smugglers.”
A week later, he rebuked senior civil servants for “slowing down” his administration’s policy on workers’ welfare.
At that meeting with the Head of Civil Service, the Body of Permanent Secretaries, and some Directors-General of agencies, an irate Tinubu exclaimed, “Before the next meeting, I want to see progress in the civil service…Why are we slowing that down? It is not just shameful. It is unacceptable…Help Nigerians get out of these problems, and do not compound the tough situation with unacceptable delays.”
By Tinubu’s reckoning, the strongest impedance to the country’s progress is some of its own people. Perhaps this explains why he is now shopping for whistleblowers from the Middle East and beyond.
At the Nigeria-Qatar Business and Investment Forum in Doha last Sunday, he asked Qatari captains of industry to report any Nigerian official who demanded any form of bribe before allowing them to do business in the country.
“Do not offer a bribe to any of our people, and if it is requested or taken from you, report to us. You will have access to me. I am here to give you the assurance that reforms are going on; forget about whatever you heard in the past.
“Whatever the obstacle or problem that some of you might have experienced, it is in the past because there is no obstacle in the future.
“We have done so much within nine months. And I am assuring you, it is free entry and free exit. Your funds will flow smoothly into and out of our country. Bring your investments,” the President told his audience.
Will these potential investors accept Tinubu’s whistleblowing gig? Will they enjoy access to him as promised? For all we know, it is one thing for the big man on top to make a promise. However, it is another thing for his downlines to make that happen.
Potholes in Paradise?
I recall an old meme from the social media platform Reddit. It shows a picture of a pothole-ridden road with a caption that reads: “In England, they drive on the left. In my country, we drive on what’s left.”
Perhaps not wanting such to be said of some parts of the Presidential Villa, the FCT Minister, Nyesom Wike, marked two streets within the Villa for rehabilitation—Yakubu Gowon Crescent and Usman Danfodio Crescent, Asokoro.
Before now, anyone driving from or towards the State House Conference Centre would have to dodge a familiar dent on the road. I recall one surprised visitor saying, “Pothole dey for here too?”
You see, most people refuse to agree that the Villa is not Paradise. When I first walked into the premises, the captivating and serene atmosphere stood out. But more details pop up with time. The heavy security presence signals a change of zones.
The air quality may be better off due to heavy vegetation, but the roads are not made of gold. Like every other place, the waste bins contain trash, not money. And many of the people who work there will not set eyes on the president in years. Heck, there is a 0.000000001 per cent chance that you will chance upon the President arbitrarily. It may have happened decades ago under a previous leader. But it’s so rare today that it would make the news if it happened.
So, when you visit the Villa, manage your expectations. You might see the president or one of the thousand BATs I wrote about three weeks ago. Or, a tiny pothole. Aim for the stars and you might hit the ceiling.
